If you are delicate about this topic this is not the place for you and you can exit the premises.
But if you are open to all things, then…by all means…welcome.
Why this topic? Well one because it is delicate, two because it’s very important, and three it works for me, maybe something here will work for you.
“To draw nearer to ourselves is to draw nearer to divinity, there is no separation between us and the rest of the universe…To commune with our reality is to commune with the stars, to draw nearer to our desired deity.” – Meditations from the Mat.
I’ve been drawn to deeper meaning and spirituality for as long as I could remember. I’ve always been a thinker and a seeker. I’ve been actively “seeking the light” for some years (not always consistently). I am the type of person to search for all the ways I can best cope with life, especially because I over think every freakin’ thing. Whenever I go through something it’s not long before I take initiative to fix myself which may take an indefinite amount of time, what matters is trying. I try not to linger in sadness/negativity, and through all the books and assistance/knowledge I seek I am finding out how to best pull myself out of the currents, the way I find best suites me. These things I do, these many things I do, I call it finding my God/My Peace/My light, it’s me coming back home, to myself.
It’s inevitable that as you get more into your own self study that you will find your God.
I find my God by talking, we can call it prayer. Talking out loud, by myself to everything out there. Expressing how I truly feel, many of the times, I cry really long and hard. When I talk, I talk in gratitude, no matter how much it pains me sometimes. I find God by listening to music, sometimes on my yoga mat, where I may not do yoga at all, or maybe I do. It may go on for two minutes or an hour or more. Savasana may be my first and last pose. I might stop halfway to cry, or maybe even dance. I never know what is going to happen. I might end up reading something or watching Ekhart Tolle, Oprah or someone! I have a gratitude journal where I write to God for all the things I am grateful for, one for each year. I always thank him for everything, for the good and the not so good. I send love to my family, friends and even those who used to be friends. Sometimes, I find my God looking straight at me in the mirror, we lock eyes. Or I feel God in my body when I am able to be still and quiet enough. I do all this very privately, this may be the first time I am sharing this. Sometimes I go MIA for a day or two maybe more, especially if I have really strayed away, or I am holding on to too many thoughts and emotions that I haven’t yet faced.
Not only then but I also find my God whenever I am anywhere and I stop and express gratitude for this beautiful moment in my life right here, where I stand. I have found God alone on walks when I look at the ocean, the sky, or any magnificent beauty of the earth or people/kindness around and know that this is not a result of anything but.
When I haven’t done any of these things for too long, I lose grip of myself. I start going into the opposite direction. My frequency/energy/tolerance run low and my bitterness and sadness run high. When I forget my God, I lose some of everything.
But whenever I am in this frequency, I am my best self, most times even better than the last self.
Wherever you find your God, whether in church, in yoga class, in meditation, in a synagogue, in the Bible, if you have to fly all the way to Jerusalem, in the ocean, in the shower, listening to music, running, writing things, playing an instrument, etc etc that is your practice, that is your peace. Maybe you haven’t found yours, it’s probably because you haven’t began your own self study, when you begin to look inside rather than out, you will find this. There aren’t rules but you’ll know when you find it, especially when that’s where you go when you have good or bad news. That’s where you go to let it go. And when you do find your God go to that “place” as many times as you can, for you will find that you can get through many things with some more ebb and some more flow. Some more letting go and some more letting.
It is where you let everything fall away. It’s where you and you and God and you huddle in together, for something like a great big hug.
Finding you and finding your God are synonymous.